Trader Joe's Shaving Cream

If you do a web search on this product, you'll find lots of folks who like it, but I thought I'd throw my thoughts in too.

Trader Joe's shaving cream is awesome. It's creamy and smooth and moisturizing, and it makes skin very slippery. It's not foamy, it has more the consistency of a lotion. I'm pretty careless when shaving, and I think this product has helped a lot with keeping nicks and cuts to a minimum.

I'm also very pleased that there is now an unscented version (in the blue tube). The first scent was this honey-mango concoction (in the orange tube) that was too sweet for me--it was kind of sickly, actually. The unscented version is perfect.

If you shave any part of your body, I recommend this stuff!

Guns 'N Roses, Chinese Democracy

It's hard to come at the new Guns 'N Roses album without a ton of preconceptions. Like it or not, you just can't come into this with an open mind.

First, GnR started out with a pretty good album. Then they released a 1/2 acoustic album mostly notable for its racism and xenophobia ("One in a Million," anyone?). Then, instead of editing themselves to one okay record, they released two bloated albums at once. Then there was a weird covers album. Then crickets. So the first preconception one must overcome is their declining standards.

But keep in mind that whatever else you say about the band, Appetite for Destruction did rock. It was good. Part of why everything that followed was such a disappointment was because the band set their own standards early on, and those standards were pretty high.

Third, there aren't many precursors of people who honestly were working on an album for this length of time. Boston took 6 years for their album Third Stage, and the results...while there are some good songs, there's really little evidence that much time was really needed or even used to any real effect.

Fourth is Axl's general demeanor. He doesn't come across well in interviews or stories. To be honest, he sounds like kind of a jerk, definitely egotistical. He is very hard, in other words, to root for.

So, it was with all that in mind that I listened to Chinese Democracy on the ride home last night. I didn't have the song titles in front of me, so this will be a bit vague. Bear with me.

First off, you have to forget this is Guns 'N Roses. It certainly doesn't sound like them. While you still have Axl's voice, that's it. You don't have the players. You don't have the loose rock and roll vibe. You don't have the same musical approach. This is pretty much an Axl solo record.

And oh-my-gawd, is this thing heavily produced. Tracks are layered on top of layers. This is stupidly dense in terms of instruments. Moreover, it switches from approach to approach, as if someone thought, "hey, wouldn't it be cool to jump from metal to flamenco for one bar?" In spite of this layering, it's not a particularly dense album in terms of instrumentation. The sonic range is full, but people aren't necessarily doing all that much on their individual instruments (save Buckethead...more later).

Axl's voice sounds fine, but how much of it is really him? I dunno. The drums don't really sound like drums...I strongly suspect sampling throughout. Most of the time, the guitars also sound pretty sampled. Where's the pick noise, fingers scraping against strings, all the things that make this sound like actual players performed the music? Frank Zappa used to say that most music in the 80s was made by sampling the actual musicians, plugging those samples into a computer, and then letting the producer go to town in creating the arrangements. That, essentially, is what Chinese Democracy sounds like...it is the album made possible by Pro Tools.

Axl does all his own backing vocals. While this might work for a number of artists, Axl provides layers of Axl on top of Axl...screeching Axl, wailing Axl, warbling Axl, lilting Axl, just plain weird Axl. After a while, it starts to grate.

He's also been listening to techno/goth/industrial. I'm assuming somewhere in the 13+ years of recording, someone slipped the man a Nine Inch Nails cd, and it wormed its way into Axl's consciousness. The result works well with the computerized production, but it doesn't necessarily work well with Axl's voice. Axl sings great over loose, sloppy music. Over super-produced music, the results don't really mesh.

About halfway through the album, I picked up my spousal unit, and we went home. We did the "all about our day" segment of the drive, then we put the album back on. At this point in the disk, Axl started to play "let's see what genres I can crush together." My spouse listened for a while before asking me "doesn't this sound like a high school musical?"

There is some pretty good guitar on this album, all of it courtesy of the truly gifted yet deranged Buckethead. He is a blinding virtuoso, and his playing provides many moments of interest. This is good, however, because the songs themselves are not very interesting at all. Buckethead, in his most mass-market exposure, should be more than just a distraction from boring tracks...but I suppose this is more a comment on his own career choices than anything. How well this would work on repeated listens is another question altogether.

Overall, this album has listening value, but it's more of the car crash variety than anything else. It's not the album is even that bad. Hell, if it were bad, it would at least get some cool B-movie cred. The songs are just bland, in spite of the overproduction. Axl sounds good, but the material can't live up to the clarity and range of his computerized voice. Moreover, this really doesn't fit on any actual musical landscape...it is as out of place in the current music scene (which just does not support bloated, over-produced, corporatized music) as it is in the GnR catalog.

It would be much better if it at least had a modicum of swing to it...but I guess the swing and verve got edited out somewhere in year 9.

Urban Decay Lipstick in Apocalypse

This stuff is the bomb!

A few posts back, I whined about how hard it is to find the perfect shade, but I think I've done it.

Like: pretty much everything. function: this lipstick is creamy and nourishing (really--it doesn't dry lips out). color: this is a deep blackberry color with sheer coverage. it's not opaque unless you put on a lot, but it's noticeable and flattering (to me, anyway). The packaging is also appealing, shiny and luxe and pretty.

Dislike: Hmm. well, the bullet of lipcolor is pretty small, so I'll have to replace it soon, and at $22 a bullet, it's not painless. on the other hand, if it runs out quickly it will never dry out and get gross, so it's not a total dislike. The price tag makes me wince a little (not because it's relatively high but because I never thought I'd be the kind of person to spend that kind of dough on lipstick).

As long as they make this stuff, I'll buy it.

Urban Decay 24/7 Glide-On Eye Pencil

Urban Decay is a pretty cool company. They never test on animals, and a lot of their products are vegan. I am happy with their stuff about half the time, because I'm picky about what I like in makeup. I was looking for a liquid eyeliner because I like the staying power, and found these. They are advertised as if once they are on, they stay on like a liquid liner. I gave it a shot.

I like: the way this thing glides on! Seriously, it's so creamy that it just slides on. No tugging or pulling, just a swipe and it's there.

I dislike: Well, I don't really dislike anything, but I disagree with UD that this liner has staying power. It is, alas, much like other pencil liners in that it gets smudgy throughout the day. For that reason, the black is not what I'm looking for. Other colors, however, are awesome and worth the $16 price tag. I'm especially fond of Stash, a mossy green color. Also, this gets used up really fast, as it is so creamy and soft.

Bottom line: not quite what it's advertised, but a really cool product anyway.

Trader Joe's Roasted Gorgonzola Oven Crisp Crackers

This is one of those products that's so good, it really ticks me off. First off, why isn't bleu cheese a normal snack flavoring? Second, why do I have to drive 1 1/4 hours to get a box?

These are light, lovely, and with a not-too-subtle yet not-overpowering gorgonzola flavor. It gently wafts around your mouth after eating them, both making you want more and giving you some pretty atrocious yet heavenly cheese breath. I imagine that these would be the best thing in the world if you had a very nice white wine as an accompaniment.

Next time I hit Trader Joe's, I'm buying a case.

Burt's Bees Chemical-Free Sunscreen SPF 30

I bought this because I prefer physical sunblocks to chemical ones, and I liked that it said it was "non-whitening."

I spent about $15.

What I like: the way it smells

What I don't like: everything else. The consistency is pasty. It's really sticky and it clumps with only a light layer. It is not non-whitening, which is to say that it leaves white smears on my skin. It's really hard to apply makeup over it, because of the clumping that occurs when I rub it.

Bottom line: I will not buy this again. I don't know if I can bring myself to use up the tube, even after spending all that money on it.

New NAS Album

I've never been a big listener of rap or hip-hop, but I recently saw the above performance of rapper NAS on The Colbert Report. The song he does in this clip is called "Sly Fox" and it is an obvious commentary on our current state of affairs regarding corporate news. If it doesn't load or gets removed, you can check out the audio at NAS' official website here.

This song made me go out and buy the first rap album that I've bought in years, and all I can say is that it was well worth it! Several tracks not only fired me up, but also gave me chills, such as another of my favorite tracks, "Black President."

I urge you to give this album a listen, even if you aren't a big rap/hip-hop fan. Don't illegally download it, buy it! Support NAS' attempt to bring important issues to light. This is what music of any genre should be doing right now: entertaining, educating, and making noise!